Feb 12
Annie's wins her first Tri-Decathlon challenge (Photograph: James Keys)

Annie's wins her first Tri-Decathlon challenge (Photograph: James Keys)

Challenge 3 - Cooking

Result: Annie 161.5 def. Annie 159
Venue: Lindon St / Buranda Woolies
Referee: Michael “Baby Chicken” Kazlauskas
Attendance: 5 (Andy, Annie, Referee Michael, Alana, Keys)

 * * *

Referee Michael

The Food Critic’s Scoreboard

Cooking Scoreboard

* * *

Annie

The Winner’s Report

YES!!!  I’m finally on the scoreboard!  And what a victory it was.  It appeared in the morning of the challenge that Andy was going into it already geared for defeat (which was disappointing for me because that’s no fun) but he did some last minute cramming and research before the secret ingredients were revealed (as did I - thanks Jamie Oliver) and so that left both of us feeling quite confident.  A serious competition was on our hands. 

Referee Michael aka Takeshi Kaga revealed the two secret ingredients: bacon and hazelnuts.  Such awesome choices!  Go Takeshi.  Phew - I was so scared they were going to be really obscure.  We had a quick intense plannning session - eyeing each other off and trying to figure out what each of us was up to - and then it was off to Woolies with our $30 budget, which both of us miraculously managed to achieve. 

So this is what I made in the end:

Main - Bacon wrapped Cod with Baked carrots in a bag

Sprinkle onto a piece of cod a chopped garlic clove, thyme sprigs, salt and pepper and lemon.  Wrap in bacon then bake for 10 min.  To crisp bacon, can pop into grill afterwards for a couple min. 

Get big piece of foil and fold in half.  Slice carrots and place on one half of the folded foil.  Add a tbsp of butter, salt, pepper, bacon, rosemary, orange zest and juice from 1 orange.  Fold foil over carrots and seal all edges.  Bake in oven for 40 mins.

Annie's Trifle

Dessert - Annie’s Chocolate Raspberry Hazelnut Trifle

First prepare a bowl of raspberry jelly and place into fridge just long enough to half set it.  Place sliced choc rollettes into bottom of a ramekin.  Layer some half set jelly on top of that.  Add layer of whipped cream, sprinkle some chopped hazelnuts.  Repeat the layering: choc rollettes, raspberry jelly, whipped cream with chopped hazelnuts.  Place in fridge for an hour.  To serve garnish with raspberry sauce (crush a handful of fresh raspberries with a couple tablespoons of caster sugar), fresh raspberries, shaved chocolate and more hazelnuts. 

Anyway, it wasn’t that stressful for the most part since we had allowed ourselves a bit more than 2 hours to prepare everything.  But for some reason, when it came down to our deadline, things were frantic.  Getting everything “plated up” (to sound all chef-y and pro) was a little bit stressful, but we managed to get it on the table in time and we just sat back in a heap - hot and sweaty and slammed down a couple glasses of champagne to celebrate our efforts. 

The judges ruminated and deliberated as we waited very anxiously - or me more anxiously than Andy that’s for sure.  They seemed to be eating more of Andy’s dish more quickly than mine, so that got me worried.  And their comments that it was really even between us, really made me sweat it out because I was so not prepared for it to be such a tight finish.

Then came the scores and comments.  Here’s what they had to say about our mains:

Annie’s Fish Dish

Keysy: ”Simple yet elegant. Plate should have had more on it. I thought fish and bacon was weird but i liked it.”
Michael: ”Carrot delicious. Herbs very nice.”
Alana: ”The bacon was too loosely wrapped. Needed more greenery though the fish looked moist. It tasted moist too.”

Andy’s Chicken Dish

Keysy: ”Unexpectedly creative. Chicken was a bit tough. Well spiced and garnished.”
Michael: *too busy stuffing his face to comment* 
Alana: ”Wrapped bacon was impressive. Like it was from a restaurant.”

And the desserts:

Annie’s Trifle

Keysy: ”Beautiful and something I haven’t had before.”

Andy’s Slice

Keysy: ”Beautiful presentation and creativity.

The results for each category were sooooo close!!  I got so nervous after Alana’s scores (she gave hers first) because I had only just scraped through on that one and I was thinking there was a real chance Andy could possibly steal this supposed given-victory away from me.  But no - there was to be no stolen victory for him that day.  The judges spoke true and fair.  It was crazily dead even, but I managed to inch Andy out in two categories and that won me the main meal and dessert.  Woo hoo!!  I can’t describe the pure unadulterated joy I experienced when I realised I had finally won my first challenge!  I can’t wait to experience it again and again in the coming weeks. 

I do give props to Andy though for his valiant efforts - he really did create two great meals and give me a run for my money.  So cheers buddy and here’s to our upcoming dead even battles.

* * *

Andy

The Loser’s Report

An epic day of tasty food and spontaneous creativity ended with me falling agonisingly short of upsetting that ragamuffin from the streets, Annie..

Much like the aforementioned ragamuffin in Mario Kart, I thrived in the underdog role, producing a very decent main dish and a spectacular dessert to give Annie a real run for her money. You should have seen her as the meals were being judged by Messrs Michael and Keys and the ever-present Goat. She was sweating away with a look plastered on her face that can only be described as ‘panicked’.

Going into the contest my tactics were simple; first rely on my previous cooking experience to handle the main meal and second; memorise a dessert recipe and hope to high heaven that Michael’s ingredient would fit in. As you’ve probably deducted by now, it worked.

The event kicked off at exactly 3.15pm as Referee Michael announced his ingredients of choice. The first was quite simple, bacon, while I was relieved to see that the dessert ingredient, hazelnuts, fit my memorised recipe perfectly. After trapesing around the house all morning in a state of near-depression I, all of a sudden, felt extremely confident.

I took some time to come up with my grand plan for the main meal. In the end my desire to produce something unique and creative lead me to a meal my mother made famous a few years ago; chicken pieces stuffed with parmesan cheese and mint and wrapped in bacon. As a side dish, I went for a lovely mediterranean salad with fresh rocket, fetta, bacon, sun-dried tomatoes and balsamic. De-lish.

After finalising my meal the next task was to get down to Woolworths and purchase everything I needed below the allocated $30 budget. It was a tough process – the line at the deli was extremely frustrating – but I got everything I needed, all the while wearing the outrageous Ninja shoes that Mel bought me in Japan. Iron Chef I may have looked, but clumsy and self-conscious I felt.

Once I had all the ingredients for my main and dessert (memorised using a simple acronym; Vegetarian Best Friends Sometimes Chew on Meat & Eggs / Vanilla, Butter, Flour, Sugar, Coconut, Milk, Eggs), I headed home. I was feeling great, great enough to cause an upset of epic proportions.

Andy's Slice

Alas, it was not to be. Despite producing my bacon-wrapped chicken delight and hazelnut and chocolate-garnished coconut slice and presenting them with the flamboyance of a homosexual actor, I fell just short. Annie’s bacon-covered fish and chocolate, rasperry and hazlenut trifle were too good. I was so close, yet so, so far away.

While I respect that the judges’ decision are final and I was beaten fair-and-square, I do have one lingering frustration with the final result. My creativity marks for the main dish were ridiculous. Annie wrapping a fish with bacon more creative than my wrapped and skewered chicken pieces with a side of salad? I think not. Alana, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Apart from that I can’t really argue. Annie’s fish was scrumptious and her dessert was just that bit more tasty than mine. But it was a close thing and I made her sweat and at the end of the day, I’m happy with that.

Feb 8

Challenge No.3 is upon us: Cooking.  This is going to be a really interesting and fun challenge for sure.  After much discussion over several weeks, we’ve finally nutted out the rules for this one.  There were so many factors to take into account - fairness, creativity, element of unpredictability, cost, time, amount of preparation allowed etc.  But after all that, I do think we’ve struck an excellent balance with it all and come up with an awesome event. 

So here are the rules:  Michael aka Takeshi Kaga will reveal the 2 theme ingredients - one for the main course and the other for the dessert.  We’re not going to be making a feast here - just a single dish for each course.  We’re not allowed access to any cookbooks or the net.  We must invent our meals de novo - no cheat sheets or advice from spectators - it’s just us and the theme ingredient.  We then go straight to get the rest of our ingredients with only $20 in our pocket.  Three hours later we present our creations to the panel of judges who will score each dish based on 3 criteria: taste, creativity and presentation. 

* * *

Annie

Thoughts from red corner…

Today’s the day I finally reveal my superiority over Andy.  It’s going to be a tough challenge given the rules we’ve created, but ultimately my many years of cooking and devotion to collecting cookbooks and cooking shows will pay off.  This is a definite must-win for me and there is absolutely no chance that the score will not go to 2-1.  I am incredibly psyched to scratch up my first win.  Otherwise someone’s going to get hurt…possibly someone wearing a blue shirt.  It’s on.

Prediction: Annie def Andy by winning best main & best dessert.

* * *

Andy

Thoughts from the blue corner…

So it’s cooking today. In truth, I haven’t been looking forward to this challenge simply because I don’t think I’m going to win. In saying that, the guff that Annie is throwing my way about this being a no-contest has got me pretty fired up.

My weakness is almost certainly going to the dessert dish. I’ll be OK in the main meal department but haven’t never made a dessert in my life I don’t really know how it’s going to go. I’ve done some last minute cramming and I have an idea but it is VERY dependent on the ingredients that Michael picks out. I’m feeling lucky though.

Prediction: It’s going to be nice going in as the underdog in this one an hopefully I can make it 3-0. A victory to Annie seems more likely but if my dessert gamble pays off then I could get lucky.

Feb 4
Annie, Referee Little Webs and Andy look on before the start of the Mushroom Cup (Photograph: James Keys)

Annie, Referee Little Webs and Andy look on before the start of the Mushroom Cup (Photograph: James Keys)

Challenge 2 - Mario Kart 64

Result: Andy 3 def. Annie 0
Location: 5o Lindon St
Referee: Patrick “Panda Bear” Weber
Attendance: 8 (Andy, Annie, Referee Little Webs, Michael, Morgs, Andy, Alana, Keys)

* * *

Referee Little Webs

The Referee’s Report

So there we were, sitting on the balcony, when a tactically-late Annie decided to show her face.

“Kay, so do you wanna do this thing.”

“Yeah alright…”

*they sit down to play*

What..? No epic theme music. No crafty entrances. Nothing.

If I had invented this competition, it would’ve been all about theme music, flashy dancers and entrances with smoke and laser lights. However, this would be achieved with sacrifice to substance, actual knowledge of things, and it probably would’ve been about a 2-event deal due to current financial situations. But damn those two events would’ve been something to remember.

Anyway, it began with some technicalities. Both players wrote secretly which cup they would use their favoured character in. Andy chose Toad for the Flower Cup (#2) and Annie, stupidly chose Bowser, and even more stupidly chose the Star Cup (#3).

Andy was fueled by alcohol and raring to go. But he turned a slight shade of green when he drew his most hated character in the game Luigi for the first cup. Annie drew Wario, my personal favorite. Fuming about the character draw Andy was in complete disarray as the first track, Luigi Raceway, began.

The early tracks often rely on lucky items for victory and Luigi Raceway was no different, as a Super Star for Annie on the last lap just after the tunnel was enough to ensure an unlikely victory. Screams and cheers would’ve been heard in about Sydney as a confused Andy mused:

“I didn’t do anything wrong. What happened?”

Andy’s race craft in Moo Moo Farm was quite frankly awful and this enabled Annie to take her second victory. Andy finished 2nd again, giving her a 6-point lead. Meanwhile, Morgs was nearly banished outside for coaching. It looked as if - for once - Andy’s luck had run out.

But as is so often the case the “old” experienced head took over control again. He cruised to wins at Koopa Troopa Beach and Kalamari Desert, which would see a tied cup if Annie finished second in the final race. As it was, she couldn’t maintain it. Random computer driver DK proved to be the difference as Annie, cruising towards 2nd and an improbable share of the cup, was overtaken by the giant monkey  to hand Andy a 1-0 lead. It was incredible.

Andy celebrates as Annie commiserates

Andy celebrates as Annie commiserates (Photograph: James Keys)

Heading into the Flower Cup, Toad was pitted against the might of Mario. In the first track Annie and Mario were unable to stop Toad in his home highway and she slumped to a highly embarrassing 7th. Contrary to popular belief 7th is a far more embarrassing position than 8th, because it means you tried and didn’t simply get unlucky.

The result may have been influenced by some advice dished out by Keysy, when he suggested Annie fire a shell of the wall backwards while in first place, to try and hit Andy who was struggling in 4th. But Annie shot herself and crashed over the barrier, foolish beyond belief.

In the second race, Annie won a finish-line scramble to give her a ray of hope leading into Choco Mountain. In this game you just can’t compete with 12 years experience, knowledge and shell-firing madness. Andy was pinpoint with his green-shell accuracy and headed into the last corner in 1st looked a likely winner. Or should I say, likely to anyone who doesn’t know about the last corner Choco Mountain glitch.

He finished third. Annie however slumped to another finish without points. Andy couldn’t really lose, sitting 9 points (1 win) clear. Annie required some sort of miracle. I know first hand how hard Andy is to beat on Mario Raceway with Toad of all bitches. He won with Annie second behind him to take an unbeatable 2-0 lead and emerge victorious in the Mario Kart challenge.

Now, at the start I was critical of Annie’s choice of Bowser as her character and even more critical that she chose it for the Star Cup. As I assumed it turned out to be a dead rubber. Annie never got to use her best character for anything that mattered. Poor choice. Poor tactics. Poor idiot. I can’t really remember much about this cup except Andy won all 4 races and earned double butt-slap duties (see photos for further details).

In the end Annie fought valiantly but couldn’t mix it with a geezer who has played faaar to much Mario Kart in his life.

* * *

Andy

The Winner’s Report

I think it would be something of an understatement for me to say that Mario Kart did not turn out how I expected. Sure, I won the challenge. Sure, I won 3-0. Sure, I got that double butt-slap I wanted from Annie. But it really wasn’t as easy a win as the final score reflects.

Annie drove out of her skin. In the whole time of playing Mario Kart together - maybe 70-80 tracks in all - she had only beaten me three times. After two races she had blown that statistic out of the water, denying me with good item usage (finally she was smart enough to use Mushrooms to cut the track!) on her way to two clear victories. If the first was a fluke the second was just a matter of the better winning on the day, my “What can I do about that?” face is proof of how I felt.

What could I do to win that?!

What could I do to win that?! (Photograph: James Keys)

I should add at this point, not as an excuse but as a fact, that I was pretty drunk. A six-pack of beer in a couple of hours will cause problems for the best of us and although it wasn’t exactly preventing me from doing well the combination of intoxication and a little bit of scoreboard pressure was certainly affecting my decision during the game. Add to that the fact that I had drawn my most hated character, Luigi, and I wasn’t a happy chappy. I would say I was nervous going into the third track, Koopa Troopa Beach, but the first time since I’ve played Annie at Mario Kart the possibility of losing actually crossed my mind.

I need not have worried for long however, as all my previous experience and Annie’s lackthereof began to show. A final corner Star and Red-Shell combo in Koopa Troopa beach saw me close the gap to three points and a solid performance in Kalamari Desert effectively tied the cup. But Annie imploded, forgetting to powerslide on the final corner and seeing a certain second turn into third, a certain share of the mushroom cup turning to a runners-up medal. I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

From then on it was something of a formality. With Toad in the second cup I was never going to lose. He helped me to 1st in his home track, Toad’s Turnpike, 2nd behind Annie (again!) in Frappe Snowland, 3rd in Choco Mountain and an ever-predictable 1st in my pet track, Mario Raceway. Annie could only manage 7th, 1st, 5th and 2nd and it meant a comprehensive 12-point win.

My biggest challenge during the second cup was the growing fear of paranoia I felt as the alcohol took held and the crowd relentlessly cheered on the underdog. In all my time as a human being on this planet I’ve never felt as unliked and *gulp* despised as I was during that second cup. It was like I had become Italy after knocking the Socceroos out of the last World Cup. I felt like crying.

The final cup was a little bit of a whitewash as I won every race and ensured I got to slap non-podium-finishing Annie on the butt twice. But the spectacle of this challenge was the Mushroom and Flower Cups and full credit to Annie, she really stepped up in this event. If she’d just held on against DK it could have been a very different story. 

But that’s life really - rarely do young upstarts make a mockery out of experienced heads. It’s a lesson that saw me throught this challenge and one that Arsene Wenger could think about to improve the Arsenal Football Club. Or something.

So I go to 2-0 and with Scattergories and Cooking up next it’s a position I needed to be in. Job done as far as I’m concerned.

* * *

Annie

The Loser’s Report

Wow - what an unexpectedly close contest.  The results don’t reflect how close it was.  Yes I lost 3 cups to nil, but I pulled out some amazing races there and that’s not just me puffing up my own performance.  There were witnesses who can attest to that including Andy’s own admission that he has “insane respect” for what I managed to achieve. 

Andy had smashed down a six-pack in less than two hours and was ready and raring to go by the time I got home. Referee Little Webs reticently laid out some rules for us and got the “sombrero of choice” ready for us to draw from.  I drew Wario for the first cup and Andy got his least-liked Luigi. 

I had nothing to lose and raced like there was no tomorrow.  As was pointed out in the preview post, I did have a win rate of 3% and at best come a consistent 2nd to Andy.  But in the challenge yesterday, I killed those first two races! 

In the first race, we were dead even for the most part with Luigi ahead if anything, but getting those insane mushie boosts to cut over the grass really helped me out.  I was finally bearing down on him and then in the home stretch, there I was with Luigi in my sights…but then out of nowhere got smashed with a shell!  As I and all my supporters were screaming in surprise and frustration and Wario was tumbling mid-air, I saw that Luigi had been struck with a shell too!  I was the first to recover and in absolute shock, zoomed past him for an unbelievable victory!! 

Annie can't hide her delight after winning the first track (Photograph: James Keys)

Annie can't hide her delight after winning the first track (Photograph: James Keys)

Moo Moo Farm was next.  I was amazing!  Luigi got smashed by a groundhog straight up and I zoomed past him and from that point on hardly made any errors, if none at all.  I was unstoppable and when I crossed the finish line first, Andy and I were both in total and utter shock.  Two in a row?!!  Completely unheard of!  It wasn’t even that Andy was racing badly because of his inebriated state - he was racing perfectly too, but for some reason the stars and planets were aligning in my favour.

Alas it was only a brief alignment… I came second in Koopa Troopa Beach and everything was looking like we were going to be tied at the end of the cup. All I needed to do was come second in the last race before we went to a tie breaker, but D.K. - bloody Donkey Kong, appeared out of thin air and just as I crossed the finish line, he somehow snuck over with me and the system decided that he had beat me to 2nd place by 1/100th of a second! And so D.K. denied me what would have been a sweet triumph…ie tieing with Andy, which is something that’s never occurred. 

It wouldn’t have mattered though I guess since Andy beat me in the next two cups.  In the second cup, I was still most definitely in contention.  Thanks to some heaven-sent stars, I flew by Andy/Toad to win Frappe Snowland in an epic race.  And in Andy’s pet track - Mario Raceway, which he has the record lap time for - I was a hair’s breadth away from 1st place! 

But it was not enough.  To win, Andy had to come 5th and I, 1st, in Mario Raceway which was not how it played out.  So unfortunately, it was not enough overall to award me my own cup and thus cause a tie.  The last cup was therefore unnecessary since he had won best of 3 by the end of the 2nd cup, but we played it anyway and it was still incredibly intense - I won’t bore you all with the details of each and every race, but let’s just say that some crucial errors were made on my part e.g. getting moronically stuck in corner on the last lap of Bowser’s castle after I had just whizzed past Andy and was well on my way to winning or falling into the water after that bane-of-my-life corner in Royal Raceway.  Boo.

So yes I lost that challenge as was predicted, but I am very content with how I played.  Putting a bit of fear and panic into Andy and earning his respect for my much-improved Mario Karting skills was satisfaction enough for me.

* * *

As I mentioned earlier, the next two challenges will be Scattergories (held at Alana & Morgs’ place on Wednesday night) and an Iron Chef-style Cooking competition at Annie and mine’s on Saturday. Stay tuned for further updates.

Feb 2

So it’s challenge number two tonight and that means two very similar, yet different tasks for Annie and I. Her task? To win at least two out of the first three cups on offer in Mario Kart 64. Mine? To do the same thing drunk. You heard me.

You see, an agreement was made between Annie and I that because she showed such good will in canceling the Geo Challenge event, I am going to try and beat her at my best event with a six-pack of the finest German beer under my belt. The theory is that it will level the playing field slightly, although my younger brother’s admission that he turned into some sort of unbeatable Mario Kart machine whilst playing under the influence at schoolies means it could in fact enhance my ability. As always, we’ll have to wait and see.

For those not familiar with tracks and characters in Mario Kart 64 I’m not even going to try and explain things. After all, what are you going to get out of knowing a guy with a massive toadstool for a head will be racing against a dinosaur-like reptile called Bowser on courses involving chocolate mountains and penguin-infested caves. It’s all a bit ridiculous, really.

In short, the rules for this challenge are as follows. We’re playing the first three cups (called Mushroom, Flower and Star) and the winner will be the one who manages two or more victories. The unique aspect of the challenge is that Annie and I are able to use our favoured driver in whichever track we choose while the four remaining drivers will be picked out of a hat at random. Just for the record her favoured driver is Bowser while mine is Toad.

And that’s all there is too it really, apart from the fact that I will be slightly inebriated during proceedings. The referee for this event will be the aforementioned schoolies Mario Kart champions Patrick “Panda Bear” Weber, whose expertise and knowledge of the ins and outs of the game will see any impulse pausing outlawed and victorious butt-slapping enforced. It’s all part of the game, after all.

The Mario Kart challenge will be hosted tonight at Annie and my place and at this stage we’ve got a respectable crowd of around 6 attending. Any more and it would be bedlam. Trust me on that.

Results to follow tomorrow.

Andy

Thoughts from the blue corner…

My pet event and I’ve arrogantly/stupidly/courageously/[insert word here] agreed to do it drunk. God, I’m a good guy. I just don’t know how I can live with it sometimes.

Despite the fact I’m going to be a little loose tonight I can’t see anything but a 3-0 victory. Earlier today Annie and I calculated that her race-win percentage was around 3% which means that mine is around 97%. 97%! That’s outrageously good, if I do say so myself. And even with a couple of drinks under my belt, the confidence that flows from a 97% win-ratio should be enough to see my through this.

Annie’s preferred driver is Bowser while mine is Toad. I can’t wait to win with that mushroom-headed git and rub it in Annie’s stupid face. Or something like that. Ahhh, what do I know? The challenge is only two hours away and I’m in the process of getting drunk. It’s probably best if you just ignore me…

Prediction: Andy 3 def. Annie. Alcohol-filled or non-alcohol-filled I am a Mario Kart champion and I will prove it.

Annie

Thoughts from the red corner…

Andy and I fired up the long-dormant N64 this morning and had one last practice run, and I lost every race.  I was directly behind him in almost every one, but coming second means nothing if he wins overall.  At least it’s not going to be a total blow out and I’ll give him a run for his money. 

But honestly, my back is up against it for this one.  Because of that, Andy has decided either very nobly or incredibly stupidly and arrogantly, to down a six-pack of beer before we race.  He most probably will still win - the drunken bastard - but at least it may give the illusion of a legitimate competitive race.  Must…crush…Toad.  I hate that noodle-armed bulbous-headed woo-hooing mushrooom freak.  Let’s go Bowser!!!

Prediction: Annie 2 def. Andy 1. Come on, I can’t predict that I’ll lose after all.

Feb 2
Andy, Annie and Referee Keys pose before the start of the first challenge

Andy, Annie and Referee Keys pose before the start of the first challenge (Photograph: Melanie Zanetti)

Challenge 1 - Tenpin Bowling

Result: Andy 147 def. Annie 94
Location: Greenslopes Bowling Lanes
Referee: James “SettaKeys” Keys
Attendance: 7 (Andy, Annie, Referee Keys, Michael, Morgs, Christie, Mel)

* * *

Referee James "SettaKeys" Keys

The Referee’s Report

The word “hangover” was redefined for me on this day, so I had no problem whatsoever being the hardass needed to keep these two in line. The day began with little to no smack talk, of which we were all a little shocked – these two were way too friendly. When they should have been at each other Mundine vs Green style, it looked like they were about to make out. They didn’t, but only because Andy’s girlfriend Mel was there.

Things were looking good at AMF bowling, when 8 pins remained after the first ball was bowled. 2 pins down is not the common definition of a “strike” in bowling, however lane 11 at Greenslopes AMF seemed to think it was. A few more balls, a few more dubious calls by the computer, and we changed lanes. To lucky number 13.

A few more bowls like this would prove that changing lanes is fruitless, so we cut our losses and just decided to bowl anyway. Andy’s first bowl was a neat little element, but nothing special. Annie’s was similar – looking on par for a strike, only to have a split. This would prove to be the story of Annie’s day.

A few intervening bowls by “the Morgue” were a good demonstration about how to get a strike by bowling a ball into the next lane, and how to use the gutter with good effect. The machine clearly liked this, and once again the Greenslopes AMF mechanics were back at work.

Two more bowls in, Andy decided to begin playing mindgames with the Annie, by standing next to the referee and pulling faces while Annie bowled. It worked, Annie’s bowl was awful, one of the worst I’ve ever seen. It reminded me of Stephen Hawking attempting to bowl, only with less grace. I gladly pulled out my (imaginary) yellow card, and sent Andy packing to the stands, while Annie got to attempt to psych out Andy on his next ball.

Unfortunately for Annie, she is not much good at distracting, or even hindering people. I guess that’s a good thing in a future doctor, but not much good in a contest to the death (of the other persons dignity). Her psych out only seemed to fuel the Andy, and sent him on a streak of strikes. Annie was not impressed, and her game suffered – a few more splits, and you could see the tears welling up. The Andy camp was readying the drinks esky* to be poured over his head.

The final round began, and pin clearing machiney thing decided it had had enough, and shat all over itself. As a side note, I recommend that if you enjoy your bowling, you should attend AMF at Greenslopes. The quality there is of the same level as the jury at OJ Simpson’s murder trial. It decided to mess itself all over the floor. As a result, myself and Andy decided to take out some frustration on it, and two balls rocketed at the machine. Much like a 2 year old child, it knew it deserved this, and began working again.

The final round ended exactly as everyone thought it would. Andy pwn3d Annie. Hard. A turkey slap was almost deserved by how hard he owned her. The frustration was clear to see, except for everyone on the blog as the camera had run out of battery. But it was my displeasure to announce that Andy had gained a lead of 1-0, and as such, is currently the better roommate in every possible way.

In conclusion, this was hardly even a contest. Annie got blown out of the water by some phenomenal bowling by Andy and she should be crying herself to sleep at night. Let us hope the next few rounds are a little closer.

*The drinks esky was one empty bottle of Coke

Andy

The Winner’s Report

Heaven almighty, I feel good. A comfortable win, a 1-0 Tri-Decathlon lead and with my strongest event, Mario Kart, next up. More on that later though.

My prediction for the score turned out to be remarkably accurate as Annie stumbled to 94 and I notched up a very creditable 147. It wasn’t the best score I’ve ever got but under the circumstances (and given that Alana said she would buy me a snakebite if I scored over 14o) I was pretty happy.

It could have gone all wrong from the start though as my ball of preference - a size 10 ruby red ball with a massive thumb-hole - went missing. It turned out that some old lady in Lane 3 had it and I nearly, nearly, nearly went and asked her for it. But instead I went and found a plain red ball with decently-sized finger-holes and hoped for the best.

It turned out OK in the end though. Referee Keys did an excellent job of ensuring their was no foul play, giving Annie a warning for a foot-fault and preventing her from visually heckling me while I was bowling. What he didn’t realise was that the combination of short shorts, sunglasses and a whistle means that he was far more of a distraction than Annie could ever be. Alas, it mattered little.


Annie bowled well but couldn’t knock down her early spare opportunities and that massively took the pressure off. By the fourth frame I was cruising and it was only when Annie scored a spare followed by a strike that she seemed capable of a comeback. However, I saved my best until late on, scoring a double-strike and effectively putting the game out of reach. The final few frames were all about the snakebite and I just about crawled over the line.

Credit has to go to Annie for a semi-decent performance and the supporting cast of Morgs, Christie, Michael, Mel and of course, Referee Keys. He’s set the bar nice and high for referee get-ups and I can’t see anyone topping his camp PE teacher outfit. It was truly horrendous.

The day ended with everyone coming round to Annie and mine for a beer and the naming of the challenge winner. Thankfully on this occasion it was me - you can see how happy I am in the photos - and I expect nothing less from Monday night’s Mario Kart challenge.

So as far as I see it, it’s 1-0 to the good guy! Huzzah!

Annie

The Loser’s Report

It was a great turnout with Morgs, Christie, Michael, Mel and our ref for the event, James Keys, all coming out in support for the start of our crazy venture.  Keysey had gotten into the spirit of things as our ref and looked like the PE teacher no parent would ever let near their kids - whether girls or boys.  Brilliant.

Well we got straight into the game.  Andy was a little bit anxious because he couldn’t find a suitable bowling ball, but annoyingly, it didn’t seem to affect his performance in the end anyway.  The lane computer scoring system was riddled with glitches and Christie was awarded so many “spares” even though she’d gutter balled it.  For me, I got a faux spare too and to go up to the counter and tell them to erase it was one of the hardest moments in the game because I needed that so desperately.  But Andy did have to reverse a faux strike, so I guess we were somewhat even on that front. 

There were very contrasting styles within our group.  Morgs, with her mustard ball, unluckily got more gutter balls than she deserved but then somehow would pull out a couple amazing strikes!  Keysey was a real tour de force - key word being “force”.  I have never seen anyone blast a bowling ball down a lane faster than that guy.  He was determined to break a pin and I swear he came close to it. 

Anyway, re the score: I knew Andy’d get around 140 - damn him.  That’s why I needed 150 to beat him, but I remained as consistent as ever and came so close to cracking 100 but just not quite getting there.  Argh.  Frustrating.  I knew going in that I couldn’t get those crazy strikes in a row thing, but I still couldn’t get the spares that I needed and should have gotten.  I had a mini-run in the middle there, with a spare followed by a strike and it looked like I could have been in the running, but Andy came out and knocked down a spare and two strikes and meanwhile I just crumbled. 

And that was that - it was all over.  Ah well - I know that I have to lose some of these challenges, but I’m comforted by the fact that I will inevitably be the overall winner because there’s no denying that I am the better human being.

* * *

So that’s it for the first challenge. But don’t despair, next up is Mario Kart and a preview for that challenge will be posted on the blog shortly. Stay tuned kids!